Sunday, January 10, 2010

Three horrible ways to die

Way back in 1326, Hugh Despenser the Younger, onetime gay lover of King Edward II, was executed by order of Eddie’s wife Queen Isabella the She-Wolf of France. She had his penis and testicles amputated and burned in front of him before he hanged.

I thought that was pretty horrific but there is another one that had people gagging, vomiting and running out of the room.

Several hundred years later, in 1757, a man named Robert Damiens attacked French King Louis XV and stabbed him. It was a flesh wound that Voltaire described as a pin-prick.

The king survived and the court sentenced Damiens to the most horrible death they could think of, the medieval punishment for regicides. Nobody had done it for generations so the court executioner, Charles Samson, had to consult the history books.

Drawing and quartering....cut off assailants hands and stick stumps in pan of burning sulfur... The execution was so ghastly that the witnesses vomited and fled, Samson passed out, so his assistants had to finish the job.

Robert Damiens believed he was doing it for the people but unfortunately he was 32 years too early for the French Revolution.

A story I heard here in Mexico, about 9 years ago, 3 gringos were killed in the period of about a year, by male prostitutes they picked up on the streets of Guadalajara. Throats cut and the place robbed. Several gringos, friends of the dead men, got together and decided they needed to send a message.

After the 3rd murder, the killer went to a bar, got drunk and was openly bragging about cutting a gringos throat. The bartender called the cops and on interrogation at the police station, the killer admitted he had in fact committed two of the murders. He was tried, convicted and sent to a federal prison.

Friends of the dead gringos chipped in money for a total of $1000US which was given to a go-between who had cholo (gangster/thug) and gang contacts that even extended into the prison. Money was distributed and plans made.

When the day came, the murdered was taken by prison guards into an isolated room, several other burly prisoners were also brought in. The guards locked the door and stood outside waiting.

Two the other prisoners were shall we say, well hung, so one forced himself down the murderers throat and the other raped him rectally without use of lubrication. Blood poured out and the man was screaming with pain. The guards ignored it.

After all the other prisoners had raped this murderer, they cut off his penis and testicles. Earlier they had prepared with a corncob soaked in habanero juice...this they shoved up his ripped rectum and left for 30 minutes as the man cried and screamed in pain. Finally they sliced his throat and let him bleed to death.

Word got out on the streets of Guadalajara not to screw around with gringos else they be subjected to similar fates. I am told that for years after that, male prostitutes wouldn't steal even an ink pen from any gringo apartment or house.

I don't know if that is true or not but I do know the guy who told me claimed to have been the go-between who arranged all this for a fee. I have long since lost contact with him over the years.

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